Hello, I was eight years old when I started this club, and I was in the 3rd grade, but that was a very long time ago! I
really like to read and play both drums and the piano, and I enjoy computer games, too. (Okay, my grandfather helped a little bit
with this website.)
I plan to add a photo Gallery of my family and other funny people . . . or things.
Some of my friends say I have two brains...
If I Were President
If I were President of the United States
I'd cancel peanut butter,
violent movies, school,
crayons, and also nasty little dogs.
If I were President of the United States
There'd be pet dragons,
time machines, and
3 dollar bills.
If I were President of the United States
You wouldn't have diseases.
You wouldn't have droughts.
You wouldn't have nightmares.
Or "EEEK! a spider!"
You wouldn't even have spiders.
If I were President of the United States
A crocodile with a collar would
be a pet.
All turtles would be rainbow colors,
And a person who sometimes forgot
to go to the bathroom,
And sometimes forgot to remember,
Would still be allowed to be
President of the United States.
And... a few of my friends say I remind of them of some boy-king name of Tut. Dunno why.
My Life at Age 40
Wow, I'm so excited to become 40, 1 can't even think about what it could be like!
Wait, HERE COMES A THOUGHT, HERE COMES A THOOUUUGHT- Sorry, got a bit hyperactive
there, though, now that I think about it, 40 isn't always that great. I mean, you'd
have no curfew and all, but would you really want to pay rent and taxes? Hmm, lemme
imagine my life at 40,1 wonder if it's good or bad or even "mediocre"...
Ok, I'll focus on the positives first...when I become 40, I'll live in an underground
submarine in Las Vegas! I'd have graduated from Harvard, and have a great wife!
Every summer, we'd go to Hawaii, and every winter, we'd go to Paris. My job would be
in an orchestra, I'll get $127 a day! My hobbies would include collecting strange rocks,
and playing the piano, whilst having great, polite children that don't, uh, throw their
food..
Hmm, well, now that I think more about it, 40 can be sort of a looming terror... I mean,
I'll have responsibilities, and possibly annoying kids, and - AHH! I COULD BE BALD AND HAVE
NO HAIR! I MIGHT BE BLIND AND WONT BE ABLE TO SEE! -And, I MIGHT GET DIVORCED AND LOSE
MY WIFE! AHH! Oh yeah, I COULD ALSO BE DEAF AND NOT BE ABLE TO HEAR! AHH- Wow, how man
times have I been screaming in fear over disabilities and other negatives of 40?
40, still a great enigma of my future, I wonder what's in store for me. If only I knew
what the world is holding for my life... Hey, wait, no way, what's that I see over there?!
Is that a time machine in my backyard due to a totally not ironic coincidence that happened
to occur when I was questioning myself 30 years in the future?? Yippee, now I can see my
future self at 40, so here I come, future me!
After I Invented the Taxi
The people of New York City were so grateful to me for inventing the taxi cab that they put my picture on the side of one
of their buildings...
The Time The Twister Touched The Ground
It was what seemed like a normal day in Oklahoma... Or so I thought. I woke up, did a little dance, and brushed my
teeth. But when I went to have breakfast, I knew that something was wrong. I tuned in to the news station a
little late, right into the middle of a report of something headed straight for my own neighborhood.
I looked out the window, and my eyes were glued to what I saw outside. There was a huge funnel cloud out there, ready
to destroy something. I was petrified, as I knew disaster was about to strike. I had always loved the wind, as
I hang glided as a hobby, but now it had become my worst enemy. Suddenly, the funnel hit the ground, knocking an area
of forest down. The beast of air had swallowed the trees and was about to spit them back up. Hurrying, I ran for my
basement, radio in hand.
I clawed my way through a mountain of rubble, and flew right down the stairs. I huddled near the radio and turned it
on hoping that it might provide a little bit of warmth, and tuned in to the local news station. The weatherman,
whose name was Kevin Caranga, informed me that it was an F5 tornado, the worst kind of tornado, with a wind speed of 278
mph. After Kevin finished talking, I heard the sound of broken glass from the other side of the basement
door. "Looks like I should have boarded up my windows, I'm really going to regret that," I said to myself.
I decided that if I wanted to live, I would have to make an effort to stay safe. I crawled under a large sturdy
table, and covered my head and neck. I could hear tree branches and roof tiles rattling against the walls, desperate
to break in. Lawn chairs attempted to crash through the windows, and I swear I heard a dog barking. Suddenly,
it seemed like everything was slowing down. I turned the radio back on, and found out that the tornado was over...
I climbed out of my basement and I found my house in ruins. Chairs were flipped over, cups were broken, and
miscellaneous souvenirs were on the floor. After three weeks of hard work, I only recently got everything put
back together and away. Wait, you mean to tell me there's ANOTHER tornado coming already? Time to move to California!
Some of my friends say I have two brains...
